What should I do when I get lost in life?
I believe all of us have been in a similar situation one way or another. The feeling that gives you a sharp ache in the gut, making you realize how miserably you have failed in soo many ways; the feeling of being directionless, with no hope for the future. If you are going through something similar, don’t worry it will pass.
I will like to tell you a story I read which helped me in my darkest hours. These are the words of Ashfaq Ahmed — Wikipedia which helped me in understanding what I was doing wrong.
There was a farmer, not long ago in a kingdom nearby. This farmer had no possessions except a beautiful horse and a son. The horse was soo elegant and strong that it was considered to be the best horse in the entire kingdom. When the king heard about these praises, he decided to buy it out. He came to the farmer and offered a handsome amount in exchange but to his surprise the farmer refused. The king continued his negotiations but kept on getting rejected. In the end, he got so frustrated that he offered the farmer half of his kingdom’s wealth, which the farmer refused again. Tired and confused, he returned.
After the king had gone, the bystanders approached the farmer making him realize of his stupidity. If he had sold his horse, he could have lived the rest of his life happily, they said. The response in return was simple; ‘It was my horse, and the king was just a customer. I didn’t want to sell and hence nothing else matters’. People after calling him names left, the farmer got back to his daily chores.
After about a month had passed, the farmer went to feed his horse and found the stable empty. Frightened and scared he asked around but got no clues of where it could have gone. When this news spread out, people started coming from all across, reminding the farmer of his stupidity of not selling the horse in the first place. They said: if he had done so, his life would have changed. People told him that his life has ended as he had lost his most valuable asset, but the farmer’s reply was simple: ‘My life is much more than a horse. Yes, I am extremely worried about where it went; but this horse was with me for a few years, whereas I have my life for more than 30 years. How can one incident ruin my life?’. The people around him didn’t grasp his views and left, making derogatory comments.
A few weeks passed by and the horse returned. Along with him were 12 more horses, each as beautiful as the first one. Actually, it had ran away to the jungle and met these horses; on returning the other horses joined along. Seeing this, his neighbors approached him again; making him realize how lucky he was. They said, ‘In one moment you had nothing, and now you have 13 horses; each of which the king would die to buy out’ You are the luckiest person alive. The farmer was completely calm at this stage; saying ‘I am extremely happy to find my horse and the others, but in no way, this changes my life entirely. Because, this event encompasses one month only, whereas, my life is longer than 30 years. How can an event spanning such a small time affect my entire life?’ The people thinking the farmer is crazy, leave.
Once the horses are home, the farmer’s child is quite excited and decides on taming them. He chooses the strongest of the lot and starts the process the following day, While he is persisting to ride it, the horse jumps and the kid fells down, breaking his thigh bone. Farmer vehemently takes his child to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor announces him not being able to walk again. Soon the whole community comes to know about this unfortunate incident; They come and remind the farmer of how unlucky he is. Saying that material things apart, you only have one child and that too is now defected; your life is just ruined, as he won’t be able to work anymore and you will die of hunger eventually. The farmer doesn’t say anything this time and the people leave after their comments.
After a few months have passed, the kingdom gets into a state of war. The king under dire circumstances makes it compulsory for every man who is able to join forces. All the capable youth is forced to enlist. The farmer’s son, because he is not able to stand or walk, is left behind. Once this incident has taken place, people from all across the kingdom come to the farmer, saying that you are the luckiest person alive. You at least have your kid with you, our children have been taken to the war. We don’t know if they will return or not.
The farmer, frustrated with these double-minded people decides on leaving the kingdom, stating that he cannot live among such dim-witted individuals.
Moral
We are often tried and tested with the turbulence of life. One has to realize that the difficulties and problems we go through, are just a small part of the bigger picture we call Life. It’s always this way; A big thing comprises of several smaller parts. It’s never the other way around. But the human mind, the way it works that is, makes us imagine that the things we go through encompass our whole lives.
Some times we get overnight success, making us extremely happy, tricking us into believing that we have everything sorted out from here onward. On the other hand, we are sometimes stricken with a tragedy which makes us lose our focus, leading to hopelessness and depression.
If a person firmly believes that all the things we go through, no matter how small or powerful; are just a part of life and not the complete life as a whole, things start to get manageable.
Originally written on Quora.
